Stupid Man

Ella: I want to be a stupid man.
Melissa: A what?
Ella: A stupid man!
Melissa: You don't want to be a stupid man! Why do you want to be stupid?
Ella: Watch, I can fly! I'm Stupid Man! Ya-da-da-DAAAH!
Melissa: You are Super Man! Not stupid. It's "Super" Man.
Ella: I'm Stupid Man. I can fly! 
(Ella falls down) 
Ella: I died.

Chicago

Haley:
bum bum bum bum bear
bum bum bum bum bear
bum bum bum bum bear
bum-bum-bum-bum bum-bum-bum-bum
bum bum bum bum bear
bum bum bum bum bear
bum bum bum bum bear
bum-bum-bum-bum bum-bum-bum-bum
Buuuum Buuuum (bear bear)

ba dit da DAAAAAAAAA

BAAAARE BAAAARE

BA-dit-da BA-dit-da bat-dit bop bob bop
da-da-da-da-da!
Ba-dit-da-DAAAAAAAAA!

Me: Awesome. I have raised her well.

Ella rocks her baby to sleep

(Ella is putting her baby doll in its little bassinet)
Ella: Night-night baby.
(Pats baby's back)
Ella: Wanna rock you baby? Wanna rock you?
(Rocks the bassinet back and forth)
Ella (singing): We will, we will, rock you. We will, we will ROCK YOU. Night-night baby!

Like a boss

Sophie: Sissy, see my pony?
Haley: Yeah.
Sophie: Its name is Potato.
Haley: No, I think its name is Fakira.
Sophie: No, its name is Potato, and I'm the boss of it.
Haley: Oh yeah? Then why don't you tell it to make you a sandwich?

Grownup

Sophie: Daddy, see my grownup earings and my grownup fingernail polish?
Me: Ooh, yes! Very nice!
Sophie: Yes, I'm very grown up. Grownups can have boyfriends.
Me: Oh yeah? Do you want a boyfriend?
Sophie: Yeah! But no one will let me go on dates, so I have to have an imaginary boyfriend and go on imaginary dates.

Wii Boxing

Me: You girls want to play Wii Boxing?
Haley: Yeah!
Sophie: Yeah! But I don't know how to play.
Me: Ok, I'll show you. You move like this to punch them in the head. And you move like this to punch them in the stomach.
Haley: And how do you punch them in the nuts?
Me: Umm...you can't. And don't say "nuts" anymore.

Thankful

Sophie: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for our family. Thank you for pools so people can swim. Thank you for life jackets and inner tubes so we don't drown. Thank you for mouths so we don't have to find another way to eat. Amen.

I'd drive it

Sophie: Mommy, why does that car sound like that?
Melissa: It's a sports car. It's supposed to be loud.
Sophie: Wow! What's it called?
Melissa: It's a Camero.
Sophie: Hey, do you think we could get a Camero van?

Magician

Sophie: How did that guy put toilet paper in his mouth and it came out all different colors?
Melissa: He was a magician. He could do all sorts of magic things.
Sophie: Yeah. I try it and it never works.
Melissa: Is that why I keep finding little bits of soggy toilet paper by the sink?
Sophie: Never mind!

Beatings

Melissa: It's quiet down here.
Me: Yeah, I threatened the girls - No bedtime books if they were loud.
Melissa: Nice. I just threaten with beatings.
Me: Ha! Haley, does Mommy beat you?
Haley: Beat me at what?
Me: No, does Mommy beat you, when I'm at work?
Haley: No, we don't even race.

Coco-not

Haley: Can we crack the coconut?
Sophie: Yeah! Can we crack the coconut?!
Me:Ok, let me get a screwdriver.
(ten minutes later...)
Me: Anybody want any more coconut?
Haley: No.
Sophie: No!
Me: Ok, I'm throwing it away now...
Sophie: Goodbye disgusting coconut!

Toilet paper

Sophie: If that roll of toilet paper looks a little bit wrinkly, it's because I dropped it in the toilet, and now it dried.
Me: Oh! And did you get it out yourself?
Sophie: Yep. And if it looks a little bit yellow, it's because there was pee in there.

Hamster

Me: It's time to clean up your room. Are those clothes on the floor clean or dirty?
Sophie: They're dirty.
Me: OK, where do dirty clothes go?
Sophie: In the dirty hamster.

It's a Banana

Haley: Let's play the banana game.
Sophie: OK! How do you play?
Haley: I ask questions, and you have to say "It's a banana".
Sophie: OK!
Haley: What's that yellow thing?
Sophie: It's a banana.
Haley: What's are you eating?
Sophie: It's a banana.
Haley: What's that thing on your head?
Spohie: It's a banana!
Haley: What's that thing sticking out of your ear?
Sophie: HA HA HA! It's a banana!
Haley: What do you comb your hair with?
Sophie: It's a banana!
Haley: What is that police man pointing at that bad guy?
Sophie: IT'S A BANANA! HA HA HA!