Say what?

Sophie:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this food.
Please help us to bless our food.
Thank you for Mommy, Daddy, Ella and Me.
Please help us to have a baby brother.
Name of Jesus Christ,
Amen

Sophie wakes up late one day

Melissa: Sophie, do you want to try on your new swimsuit?
Sophie: Yes! Can we go swimming now?
Melissa: No.
Sophie: 'Cause Daddy is at work?
Melissa: Yes, and Haley is at school.
Sophie: WHAT! You took her to school and left me here?!
Melissa: No, silly, Daddy took her to school this morning.
Sophie: Oh, ok.

Yelling from the bathroom

Sophie: AAAAAHHHHHHGGG!!!
Melissa: Sophie, are you Ok?
Sophie: Stupid toilet!
Melissa: What's the matter?
Sophie: The stupid toilet made me get pee-pee on my monkey jammies!

Jail

Haley: I don't want to go to school tomorrow.
Melissa: Well, you have to. It's the law.
Haley: What will happen if I don't?
Melissa: Mommy and Daddy will have to go to jail.
Haley: ...for how long?

Dunk

(At the doctor's office)
Sophie: The last time we came here I dunked my head.
Me: You what?
Sophie: I had to dunk my head, the last time we came here. 
Me: Did the doctor have to put your head in something?
Sophie: No. 
Me: Then what did you dunk your head in?
Sophie: When you carried me through the door, I had to dunk my head. 
Me: Duck your head. You had to duck your head, not dunk it. 
Sophie: Oh, yeah!

Sparkles

Sophie: Mommy, is that a boy or a girl on TV?
Melissa: It's a boy.
Sophie: Why does that boy have sparkles on his shirt?
Melissa: Sometimes boys wear sparkles when they ice skate.
Sophie: Huh...

I'll have strawberry, please

Sophie: Haley, are you eating a Pop-Tart?
Haley: Yes.
Sophie: I want a Pop-Tart. Is it a poop one?
Haley: NO! It's strawberry.
Melissa: A what?
Sophie: A poop one!
Haley: IT'S STRAWBERRY!
Sophie: But does it help you go poop?
Melissa: Oh! You mean a fiber Pop-Tart! No, these are not fiber Pop-Tarts. They don't help you go poopie.
Sophie: Oh, good. I want one.

What were we talking about?

Sophie: Mommy, where is my white thing?
Melissa: It's on the computer desk in front of the printer.
Sophie: Huh?
Melissa: It's on the computer desk in front of the printer.
Sophie: What is?
Melissa: Your white thing.
Sophie: What white thing?

Time lapse

Sophie: When will we be home?
Melissa: In about five minutes.
Sophie: Ok, 1,2,3,4,5. Are we home?
Me: No, that was five seconds. Five minutes would be counting to sixty, five times.
Melissa: Or you could count to 300.
Sophie: Ok. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3.
Me: What are you doing, Soph?
Sophie: I'm counting to three hundred.

Gums

Haley: Mommy, does it hurt Ella's gums when she chews on her fingers?
Melissa: No, I guess not.
Sophie: Sissy, Ella is a baby, she can't have gums.
Haley: Yeah, she has gums.
Sophie: NO SHE DOESN'T! BABIES CAN'T HAVE GUMS!
Haley: YES SHE DOES!
Melissa: Sophie, not "gum", but "gums", like where your teeth grow out.
Sophie: ELLA CAN'T HAVE GUMS!
Haley: ELLA HAS GUMS!
Melissa: Girls! That's enough!
Haley: Ella has gums.
Sophie: No she doesn't.

Technology is a mystery

Sophie: Daddy! Mommy got me a new swimsuit! Well, actually, she copied it on the laptop.
Me: You mean she ordered a swimsuit and they will mail it to us?
Sophie: Yeah, she ordered it.

Love for all

Sophie: Mommy, I loved Disney World.
Melissa: Good, I'm so glad you had fun.
Sophie: And you know what else I love?
Melissa: Let me guess. Umm... Me?
Sophie: I love our whole family. Even Ella.

Just one should be plenty

Sophie: Daddy, can I have tongues?
Me: Um, what?
Sophie: Tongues, can I have some tongues?
Me: What are you talking about?
Sophie: My tummy hurts, I need some tongues.
Me: Oh, you mean Tums.
Sophie: Yeah, Tums. I need some Tums.

Which of the seven dwarves is this?

Haley: What time is it?
Me: 9:30 a.m.
Haley: Can we just go back to the hotel for the rest of the day?

I'm not scared

(Five seconds before Tower of Terror "liftoff")
Haley: Are you sure they made this ride safe?

The answer is no

Sophie: Daddy, why did that guy eat fire?
Me: Because it's his cool trick.
Sophie: Can WE eat fire?
Me: No.

Are we there yet?

Sophie: Why are we still in this STINKIN' AIRPORT?!!!

It's all relative

Me: Haley, what was in the card from Grandma?
Haley: Money! Twenty dollars!
Me: Wow! How much do you have now?
Haley: Sixty dollars! I'm a rich kid!

Hopping

Sophie (jumping up in the booth at Planet Sub): Hop! Hop! Hop!
Me: Sophie! Sit down! We don't jump at a restaurant!
Sophie: But why is this restaurant jumping up and down?
Me: What?
Melissa: What?
Sophie: You guys said this restaurant was hoppin'.